At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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