Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
