How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
