I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
