garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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