why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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