I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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