Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I smell stomach acid.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
