He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
