you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just gift wrapped bread.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
