; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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