I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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