It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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