dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
