How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
