When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
