I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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