What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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