so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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