trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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