I wish i was in the wii world.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize