Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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