I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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