My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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