Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
