I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
one two three fourrrrnication!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
