I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
