We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
