1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
