on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
