This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
