my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
