If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
