im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
