nut hugger
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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