he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
