Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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