Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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