Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
