I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize