trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize