You made me cry and you don't even care
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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