If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
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....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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