guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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