Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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