Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
