so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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