sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
