My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
