I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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