My cat gives me a boner
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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