We won't sleep together?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
