Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
its liver damage thursday
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