Me too!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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