i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
