I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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