one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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