sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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