whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
