She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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