I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize