he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
