So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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