So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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