Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
