don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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