I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I checked into jail on foursquare
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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